Recently, my sweet friend Nicole asked on Facebook “Anyone else low key sad?” Within an hour there were 30+ responses because folks are definitely low key sad. Except the folks that are HIGH NOTE SAD. And for some of us it is a bit of a melody and harmony…back and forth between the ups and downs of the world we find ourselves in.
Anybody else wish that 2020 would find its boring phase and stick there? But hell if saying something like that doesn't just make me cringe because 2020 is forever saying "Hold my beer” to anyone who defies its right to take it to the next level.
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As I thought about the month of August, I was reminded of a little moment (or 7 hours) early this month that I thought I would share…
Every evening part of my bedtime routine is to close the sliding doors in my apartment. I have these doors on 2 sides and they make a nice cat walk for Malcolm and Rose to wander outdoors all day long. In the evening I call them in, usually with a treat, and close the doors behind them so that we are all inside safe and sound. But on one warm August night, Rose apparently didn't come in.
Not seeing her before I close the doors isn't that odd as she is often already tucked in waiting for me to come to bed. So I closed the doors and went downstairs. I didn't think to look for her…an important change that has been made since…and promptly laid down and went to sleep.
The following morning I woke thinking “I wonder where Rose is?” as she is normally the early morning greeting committee who pressures me (and my thumbs) to come upstairs and get breakfast in the bowl. As I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth I heard a very serious wail from somewhere outside and dashed out onto the bedroom balcony only to locate the sound.
Rose spent the night outside on the upstairs balcony. 7 long hours without access to her bed, her bowl, her litter box, and her human. And now that she heard I was awake, she intended to sing the song of her people at me until I let her in.
Needless to say, I raced upstairs and let her in. She was flustered, yet fine. But she was annoyed at me for a few hours and made sure I knew it by flouncing around and turning her back to me. Had she just listened when she heard me call her, she would have been where she belonged.
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Early in August I attended a writing class taught by one of my heroes, Anne Lamott. When the class was over, I realized, that I'd been out on the porch all night for about 3 years.
Let me explain…
5 years ago I wrote about 1/3rd of a novel. And I've been picking at that novel ever since. Tiny bits and pieces here and there. Each time I'd try to give it up, the main character would bother me. She would give me sentences or storylines. She would show up in my dreams and teasingly say things like “You can't say you are writing a novel if you don't write a novel.”
Her voice is the voice of the one calling me in from the balcony. Calling me to come in where there is warmth and home…because she knows I feel most alive and peaceful when I'm creating. She knows that there is a story to be told and that I'm staying on the balcony all night because I'm stubbornly ignoring her instead of coming when she calls.
So, I'm writing a novel. I can say this because I'm actually writing a novel. At least 3 days a week, I put my ass in the chair, and continue to work on my shitty first draft (Thank you Anne!). I have very little idea where this thing is going, I just know my days are better when I'm writing.
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Other news for August:
I threw my back out…and laid on the floor quite a bit while watching The Morning Show. Lemons…Lemonade
I had the entire month off from Grad school and it was glorious!
Things are work were drama filled as always…and we are still moving in the right direction. I am slowly learning not to be surprised at drama + forward progress as the norm. Slowly
Nicole (of "low key sad” fame) and I restarted our daily prayer practice and that has been a huge blessing
And I read some pretty great books including:
Devoted by Dean Koontz
The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett
Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved by Kate Bowler
The Three Questions by Don Miguel Ruiz
I enjoyed all 4 of these books…but The Vanishing Half is a work of art! READ IT!
(Spoiler Alert: I'm currently reading Humankind by Rutger Bregman…and I probably won't stop talking about it for months. So prepare yourself for September!)
Happy September! Fall is coming…which isn't as ominous as Winter…but change is good right?
xo
Leah
Rose bud! Novel! Yay!!!!! Here’s to shitty first drafts but a bigger cheers to writing. Writing regularly. Happy!!!!