The last few weeks have been a struggle.
I can’t put my finger on the moment exactly, but somewhere in these past weeks, I started to feel numb. I stopped having fun building this coaching practice and started wondering if I’d made a mistake to pivot this hard.
And still, no matter what I considered, the idea of going back to working for anyone would instantly cause my stomach to clench. The ferocity of that response kept my worry in check.
Except when it didn’t.
When it didn’t, I agreed to an interview with a CEO and his CHRO. I agreed to consider a role leading product in the travel industry. (Talk about going backwards!) All through the interviews my mind teeter-tottered between “I guess this could be interesting” and “What the hell are you doing?” But then two little words lodged in a seemingly innocent sentence cleared my mind…”prove yourself.”
I can’t argue with the man’s logic. He expects this high-profile, senior executive hire to be able to prove what they’ve done and what they can do. He has every right in the world to ask for this.
And I have every right in the world to say “I don’t think this is the right role for me.” With that, I found myself right back at the place of numbness and uncertainty.
Until…
I started to dream a bit bigger. To think about what I could do partnering with this coach friend or that medical professional. To imagine continuing to help people find their way to total agency over their lives. To dream about building community for those who need a safe harbor away from the toxicity of the tech industry.
So once again, I did what I do and began to craft the vision. Piece by labored piece, it started to come together. Post it notes where moved around on windows. Books were pulled off of shelves to find a specific reference. And as always happens…when the vision became clear, the energy and joy returned. With my curiosity always comes courage.
What once was lost, has now been found…again.
Do you need help remembering the dream? I know my way through this particular swamp and rigorous climb back to the vista. Let me know if I can help!
xx,
leah
Hang tight, and keep your face turned toward the light. There is always light.
Love you, Friend.