Fully Yourself: Finding a Good Place That Fits
On belonging, discernment, and spaces that feel right.
On Monday, I read a children’s book called A Good Place by Lucy Cousins. It’s about four little bugs searching for a home. They each find places that seem nice at first glance, but none of them feel quite right. Not until they find somewhere they can be together, safe, and themselves.
It got me thinking about what actually makes a place “good.”
Not on paper. Not on LinkedIn. But in your gut. In your nervous system. In your relationships.
Is it about status or salary? The right names at the table? Or is it about being somewhere you get to be fully yourself?
What Makes Something Actually Good?
For years, church gave me a built-in community. I didn’t have to work that hard to make friends or feel like I belonged. There were potlucks and small groups and a shared belief system.
But when I started to deconstruct my Christianity (and didn’t feel the need to reconstruct it) I had to rebuild my entire sense of connection from scratch. No pre-made community. Just me, figuring it out. I had to learn to make friends again as an adult. To find belonging without a structure telling me who my people were.
And work? That’s had its own lessons.
Some of my best friendships started in the workplace. But as I stepped into leadership, it got trickier. I didn’t need my coworkers to be my friends, but I did need to feel safe around them. Especially my peers. Especially other leaders.
When you’re trying to do hard, important work, you need teammates who respect you, challenge you, and tell you the truth. You need shared values, not just shared goals.
I’ve worked at companies that looked amazing from the outside but felt off from the inside. And I’ve walked away from a few that just didn’t feel aligned. Because here's what I know now:
A place can look great and still not be good for you.
A good place feels like it fits.
So What Does Fit Feel Like?
It feels like:
You can exhale
You don’t have to over-explain yourself
Your energy isn’t drained by pretending
The people around you genuinely want you to succeed
Your values are reflected in the day-to-day
It doesn’t mean everything is perfect.
But it does mean you're not shrinking or performing to belong.
A Few Questions for You
Where in your life are you saying yes to “almost good enough”?
What would it feel like to be fully yourself in your work, your community, your closest relationships?
Have you ever stayed somewhere that looked good but didn’t fit? What did you learn from that?
If You're in the Search
If you're in that in-between place…trying to leave something that doesn’t fit or searching for something that does, you’re not alone.
This is the kind of thing I work on with coaching clients all the time. Not fixing or forcing, just offering space to sort through what’s real and what’s next.
If that’s something you need, feel free to reach out. I’d love to walk with you for a bit.
—
Leah