Good Bones
The lost and found of deconstruction
December came and went so quickly…and now I’m sitting in the time warp that happens between Christmas and New Years. What day is it? Am I meant to be doing something today? Are these pajamas clean?
Each year I generally use this lost time to set some intentions, build a vision board, and make plans. This year it feels even more important given I am running my own business and 2024 will be the first full year of this endeavor. But before I can dive into plans, I generally have to spend some time looking back.
As I think about 2023, the visual I get is a kitchen renovation turned demolition. When “let’s update the cabinets” becomes “we’ll need to wash the dishes in the tub for a while”, you know something along the way has changed.
For me 2023 started out with what felt like a big change…move to London, get new job at Google, build new life. But what actually occurred was total deconstruction. I did move to London, I left tech completely, I gave up a successful career in product to build my own consulting and coaching business, I tried a few things, said no to a few others…but it was ultimately demolition.
I had to unravel some things that I very closely knit into the fabric of my identity. A hustler. A doer. A producer. A leader of teams. A builder of products. A girlboss.
I had to unwind some limiting beliefs about where money comes from and what would collapse if someone else didn’t put money into my bank account every month on a regular schedule.
Most surprisingly, I had to unpack some of the beliefs I had around working for someone else. Afterall, if there was no mediocre-wealthy-white-man to take credit for my work, make money from my sweat, and tell me I was too aggressive, WHO THE FUCK AM I?
(#sorrynotsorry)
As I tore down layer upon layer of the construction that has gone up since my first job at 15, I found some fear and some uncertainty. But more importantly, I found my essential self.
I found that under all the hustle and grind, was kindness, gentleness, fierce belief in myself and others, passion, and energy. There were flaws as well…impatience, a tendency towards getting bored easily, a naive belief that you get what you give, a quick temper at what feels like disrespect but could just be misunderstanding.
But I am a structure with what builders call “good bones”. I have the “good bones” of a strong mind, an amazing work ethic, a curiosity about people, and more courage than 1 human really needs.
So my offering to you is this poem by Maggie Smith with my hope that you make something beautiful with love and ferocity in 2024…
Until next time…xx,
Leah