Notes from the Week - Week 30
The one where I get angry...
When the inevitable interview question gets asked, “What is one of your worst character traits?”, I always answer with “I have a hot temper from time to time.” This often surprises the interviewer (like it did the dear Johannes Reck when I said it to him in my Tourlane interview), but it is the most honest answer I can give.
Most people make shit up like “I’m just too loyal” or “I tend to not know when to stop working” or “I just can’t help but talk about products I love.”
OH SHUT UP! That’s some sort of rehearsed nonsense. Tell me a REAL character flaw.
Like an occasionally hot temper.
I don’t yell…ever. I don’t cuss people…except inside my head. I stay professional, but my face generally gives me away. I mostly just get a tight jaw, icey eyes, and start to talk quietly and give orders. And it happens very very rarely and usually (unless I’m dealing with a dumbass), you should have seen it coming.
Well…last week was a “flash of temper” sort of week and it showed up in a topic that has become a real annoyance…board position. So I wrote myself a permission slip to get angry and let fly. Let me see if I can explain.
Until last week, my LinkedIn profile said I was open for board of director and non-executive board positions. UNTIL LAST WEEK.
Every couple of weeks some company reaches out and wants to offer to let me pay (usually thousands of $$) to join a board matching service. Last week I had finally had it. And I let the person asking me know that I didn’t think that a woman with 25 years of experience should need to PAY annual membership dues in order for companies to find her. Fintechs, travel firms, hell…even companies focused on international ecommerce or org development…these are companies that I can do some good at with one hand tied behind my back. And yet…I’m being asked to pay for the Tinder of Board Searches.
No thanks…swiping left!
The trouble is, I’m not even all that mad at the opportunists who have made a business out of these matching services. I’m mad that companies are behaving as though it is impossible to find great women to join their boards while simultaneously spouting that they are trying to find women.
These companies aren’t interested in board diversity and finding experienced individuals to help them with their products and leadership culture. Nope. They are reserving seats for someone…anyone…mostly white middle aged men…who can bring more capital and investment depth. It doesn’t matter that they have a board filled with carbon copies of this…if you aren’t sitting on millions, they don’t want you.
And that’s all fine and good…but JUST TELL THE TRUTH!
You don’t give a shit about a diverse board. You don’t plan to hire a diverse board. You just want to say you do so that you can trot out the right messaging on International Women’s Day, Pride, or whatever other DEI-colorwash day you plan to participate in.
So do us a favor and shut the hell up. We’d respect you more if you just told the truth.
Oops…seems I’m still angry.
What happened to the guy asking me to join his board matching company? I basically told him to go away. And he basically mansplained how the industry works. Which then made me basically even angrier so I responded with “Tell me something I don’t know.” Then I set my boundaries by removing our connection and stopping the conversation.
More importantly…I then sat with some of David Whyte’s beautiful poems to calm myself down. I guess I better go do that again now.
Anger…it’s not just for grumpy old men and toddlers!
By the way…if you want something to really be mad about, read the book “Rage Becomes Her.” It’s a doozy!
Xx,
Leah