Trust You

When I think about younger versions of me and their trials and tribulations, I often smile and think: “Oh sweetie, you will learn to trust yourself.”

So much of my early programming told me otherwise. I was taught to trust God, trust the Bible, trust my parents, trust the men at church making decisions, trust the police, trust teachers. But never (not once) was I told that I could or should trust myself. Hell… quite the opposite.

Every time I was encouraged to go against my better judgment because “God’s ways are not our ways” or “the heart is deceitful above all things” or “you can’t trust those hormones”—I was pushed further and further away from believing in my own inner compass.

Leaving home at 17 put me on the fast track to figuring shit out on my own. There was no emotional or financial safety net. I was out on a ledge, navigating without any belief that I could trust my body or my mind to make good choices.

Have I made bad calls? Absolutely. But most of those came when I ignored my better judgment. Sometimes my judgment was immature, ill-informed (bangs, voting for W that first time, a few of the men I said yes to, and at least one I said no to). But even in its immaturity, it was mine, and it was growing.

I’ve also made hasty decisions about jobs, relationships, business deals, based on little more than a feeling deep in my gut. Some of those are hard to explain, but I’ve learned this: I’d rather make a mistake while trusting myself than live with the regret of abandoning what I knew all along.

So when that little voice whispers “Careful” or “Just walk away” or “This isn’t for you”… I walk away. If I’m wrong, what’s meant for me usually circles back. Or something far better shows up.

We are not here to hand over our judgment to anyone else. We are humans having a singular, once-in-a-lifetime experience. When you find yourself standing alone, choose to be with yourself. Don’t abandon her. Trust you.