Ashamed (Burnout Part 5)
The High Achiever's Guide to Battling Burnout and Finding Balance
I have given a talk a few times called "My 3 Favorite Failures". The title alone makes the audience cringe until they realize I'm not going to ask them to share their failures. I call it this because these are the 3 most impactful “failures” that made me a better product manager and leader.
One of the failures I talk about is leaving a really great job earlier in my career because I was so tired and didn't know how to ask for help.
If I had asked for a leave of absence to overcome my burnout, I likely would have gotten the support to do so. In my mind being a high achiever and a woman (work twice as hard for less money and less advancement) made needing help or a break feel ashamed. In hindsight, I know so much more and understand myself and others better.
But at the time, I let burnout and shame drive me out of a job I loved.
Understanding the Shame of Burnout in High Achievers
High achievers often set exceptionally high standards for themselves. They are driven, ambitious, and frequently take on heavy workloads and long hours to maintain their success. However, this relentless pursuit of excellence can lead to chronic stress and eventual burnout. The shame comes from a perceived failure to meet these self-imposed standards and the fear of being seen as weak or incapable by peers and superiors.
The psychological impact of shame is profound and multifaceted. High achievers may feel isolated, as the fear of being judged or seen as a failure leads them to hide their struggles. This isolation exacerbates feelings of stress and anxiety, creating a vicious cycle that is hard to break. Persistent self-criticism and the inability to meet unrealistic expectations can significantly lower self-esteem, while chronic stress and burnout can lead to depression. Research indicates that shame and burnout are closely linked, with feelings of inadequacy and guilt being common among those experiencing burnout.1
Steps to Overcome Burnout and Shame
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step to overcoming burnout is acknowledging the feelings of shame and understanding that they are a common response among high achievers. Recognize that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
2. Build a Support Network: Cultivate relationships with trusted friends, family members, or colleagues who can provide emotional support and practical advice. Sharing your experiences with others can help reduce feelings of isolation and shame.2
3. Set Realistic Goals: High achievers often set unattainable goals for themselves. Reassess your goals and break them down into manageable steps. Celebrate small achievements to build confidence and reduce stress.
4. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize activities that promote physical and mental well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies. Self-care is crucial for maintaining resilience and preventing burnout.
5. Learn to Say No: Establishing boundaries is essential for high achievers. Learn to say no to additional responsibilities that can lead to overcommitment and burnout.3
The Role of Coaching in Overcoming Burnout
As someone who has coached multiple clients through burnout, I understand the unique challenges faced by high achievers. Coaching can provide personalized strategies and support to help you navigate the pressures of your career. Here’s how coaching can be beneficial:
Tailored Guidance: Coaching offers customized advice and strategies based on your specific situation, helping you develop a plan to manage stress and set realistic goals.
Emotional Support: A coach can provide a safe, non-judgmental space to discuss your feelings and experiences, helping you overcome the shame associated with burnout.
Skill Development: Coaching focuses on developing essential skills such as time management, communication, and resilience, which are crucial for preventing burnout.
No Shame
Shame can keep us quiet and isolated. I get it. I’ve been there. If you're experiencing burnout or feeling overwhelmed by the demands of your role, don't wait until it's too late.
Visit leahfarmercoaching.com to learn more about me and my coaching packages. If you don’t see something that works for you, reach out. We can craft a package together that fits you.
Next time we’ll talk about what comes AFTER burnout…
💖 Leah
https://www.indeed.com/lead/preventing-employee-burnout-report
https://acrpm.org/healthy-habits-for-high-achievers-how-to-avoid-burnout-and-thrive-in-your-career/
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/signs-of-burnout